1-900-LL Cool J Paroles

I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake
I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake
How much money can one black man make? Huh
I'm what's known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter
Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes ain't slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
cause I'ma start dismissin .. gimme that microphone
I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

{*phone rings*}
Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?"
Yeah whassup? "Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?"
Yo check this out

Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
"Can LL {*censored*}?" Man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You're full of preservatives -- plus,
you're too conservative
I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
There's no competition, for this here
So don't waste your time and breath
I'm givin you all a big F
MC's I envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don't want no static
Anyway, I ain't havin it!
When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
LL XL, Xtra-Large
KnowhatI'msayin? Peace

{*phone rings three times*}
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo' HYPED up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya