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• Artiste: Garfunkel and Oates
• Titre: Year End Letter
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If you're ever wondering if I'm wondering how you are, I'm not And if you're wondering why you never got a Christmas card from me, I forgot And if you're wondering how much I hate your year end letter, a lot I read the (?) rambling piece of drivel you sent this year And the reason we haven't talked in the last 12 months is clear How wonderful to know your cat is finally eating solid food again (Fancy Feast, indeed) And how adorable he wandered down the block and found a little kitty friend (his name is Patches) Thank God Jodi finally got her braces, wow, what a pain (you know how teenagers are) And to know that Doug likes math work is excitement I can't contain (I could go off on a tangent) Get it? You're right, your family's better than me And it seems you make a lot more money You put your long-winded rattling in a Christmas design And the puns you use are so, so funny You tell me everything in your year end letter You pour out in your year end letter Yet you're boring in your year end letter this year You're just as boring as last year I'm relieved to know your condo in Hawaii (?) (aloha, fungi) And astonishing to learn that your azaleas even grew in the cold (Mother Nature, you so crazy) A formal letter is the perfect place to announce your divorce (Sorry Charlie left you) Do I want a detailed description of your passing kidney stones, well, of course (I'm gonna go throw up now) You're right, your year was better than me You could never emphasize that too much You wrapped up so much wisdom in a Christmas design And that quote from Gandhi was a nice touch You tell me everything in your year end letter You spilled your guts out in your year end letter Yet you're boring in your year end letter this year You're just as boring as last year So if you're ever wondering why our friendship isn't better Just reread your letter