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• Artiste: David Roth
• Titre: The Saga of Freddie & Sam
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When just a boy young Sammy loved to build those model airplanes He was sticking things together while his friends were sniffing glue The tiny little decals with the stars and stripes and eagles Made him proud and made him loyal t the red, the white, and blue The years went by and Sammy's hobby turned into his future Making decals, signs and stickers, all occasions, COD No Smoking, Use The Other Door, American Express Cards Were the biggest selling signs he has at Sammy's Signery Looking at his books one day though Sam grew apprehensive He hadn't thought of planning obsolescence in his signs So when stickers didn't wear out and production grew expensive Sam was standing on the Unemployment Line But the man had grown accustomed to the finer things in life, though And unemployment checks just didn't seem quite fair So Sam took off for Holland with his signs because he heard That they had many empty windows over there He settled into Amsterdam, he scoured the city streets Counting billboards, riding buses, taking trains But he was sitting in a bar when night when Sammy got his answer As he stared into his beer and wracked his brains He said "I've got it, all this time I had it right here in my hands I'll be given more than I could ever earn" And so he kidnapped Freddie Heineken, twelve million was the ransom And the note said "No Deposit, No Return" The CIA got wind of Sam's extraordinary dealings So they sent a mole to Holland to negotiate the hands The White House feared the incident would injure global feelings After Sam relayed a list of his demands He said "For all these actions I must have a Presidential Pardon Safe transport and asylum in the Bronx And I demand that money from the military budget Be turned over into jobs or Freddie conks" So the Senate and the House of Reps agreed to Sammy's wishes And they passed a bill to get the jobs and cash Establishing an agency to beautify the slums By putting decals over windows that were smashed So when you're driving in your car through urban blighted ghettos And you notice curtains, lamps and scenery You can thank your politicians for the image of renewal But it's only Sammy's decals that you'll see