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• Artiste: David Roth
• Titre: Lipstick on the Mirror
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There was a problem in the girl's room at the elementary school Just above the seven sinks along the wall That's the spot that held the mirror with a permanent reflection Of a half a dozen toilets in six stalls First day of the autumn term last period was over All the little girls went on their way The janitor was making rounds, like he always did But there was a brand new mess to clean up on that day There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There were 27 sets of scarlet smooches The janitor, his name was Bob, spent 30 extra minutes 'Cause he couldn't leave his job in such a mess But there they were the next day, all those crimson colored kisses And for Bob another half hour after class There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There were 27 sets of scarlet smooches A week went by and every day the same routine would happen Bob cleaned 'em off at nighttime, they were back again by lunch 'Til he finally left the principal a note about the lip-prints That Bob no longer wanted to expunge (who could blame him?) But bureaucracy was moving slow, that's kinda what they do And the situation dragged along and festered What with memos to the teachers and occasional announcements Still conditions hadn't changed that whole semester There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There was lipstick on the mirror There were 27 sets of scarlet smooches So the principal got desperate, she ordered an assembly She'd devised a way to help the students see The burden of this extra work would come in clearer focus Friday in the girl's bathroom at 3 Young ladies, you know Bob, he's the one who we can thank For keeping all our windows clean and clearer I just wanted you to see firsthand all the extra work he does Every time you put your lips there on the mirror Then Bob pulled out a squeegee with a handle six feet long And he held it high for all the girls to see Then he dipped it in a toilet and he splashed it on those lip-prints You could hear a seat drop in that lavatory No more lipstick on the mirror No more lipstick on the mirror No more lipstick on the mirror Not one solitary set of scarlet smooches No more lipstick on the mirror No more lipstick on the mirror No more lipstick on the mirror And a model of accelerated learning