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• Artiste: Jake Thackray
• Titre: Brother Gorilla!
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Through the bars of a large enclosure The village ladies intently stared, Where a gorilla with massive composure Was impassively combing his hair. They were shamelessly interested, Eyeing devoutly a certain spot, But me mother's a special requester I refrain from telling you what. Brother Gorilla! The door of the circus lock-up, Where the noble brute had been put, By an administrational cock-up Was unwisely left unshut 'I'm going to lose it at last,' he cried, Swinging lissomely out of his cage, Referring, of course, to his chastity: He was just at the difficult age Brother Gorilla! Those self-same ladies who previously Had been licking their lips from afar Did a bunk, which shows how devious And whimsical women are. In the path of the lovesick monkey There were two who wouldn't budge: A little old lady all shrunken, And a petty sessions judge. Brother Gorilla! The old girl said 'It would be surprising And unlikely in the extreme If anyone found me appetising, And beyond my wildest dreams!' The judge intoned with tranquillity: 'To take me for a female ape Would be the height of improbability'. Even judges make mistakes. Brother Gorilla! It would be curious and uncanny, Say, if the choice were up to you To ravish a judge or a granny And you didn't know which to do. If I were in such a position And the choice had got to be mine, I'd beg the old lady's permission But go for grandma every time. Brother Gorilla! Though the gorilla is very proficient In the role of a paramour His mental equipment's deficient And his eyesight's awfully poor. With a palaeolithic leer He gave the old lady the miss And, grabbing the judge by the ear, Gave him an introductory kiss. Brother Gorilla! In time the gorilla's desires Were more or less gratified. The judge, being rather biased, Couldn't see the funny side. He was kicking and screaming and wailing When his moment of truth had come, Like those wretches he orders daily To be taken away and hung. Brother Gorilla!