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• Artiste: Original Broadway Cast of The Full Monty
• Titre: The Goods
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Jerry: Take a look at this girl That's everything I like She got the face, she got the waist She got the legs Malcolm: Naw, her tits are too big Jerry What are you, crazy? Bodacious funbags are a must! They gotta be C or D or better They gotta post a threat to the sweater - ow! She got the goods! That's an eight or nine at least She got the goods Horse: Let me see that She has some irredeemable flaws. I give her a six. Ah - now there's a ten! Jerry: (spoken) You call that a ten? Horse: Based on the booty Jerry: (spoken) What do you mean? It's huge. Horse: She got a butt like a battleship! I don't need to look above the hip (spoken) She got that shelf kinda ass ... you could display your tchotchkes, your collectibles on there. (sung) Baby got back. That's a fact You could park a wide-track Pontiac in that crack Now that's the goods The bigger the cushion - Jerry: (spoken) She's got a sofa-bed back there! Dave: (spoken) Well we just better hope the women are more forgiving than we are. Horse: (spoken) What is that supposed to mean? Dave: (spoken) If they're looking at us Sunday night the way we're usually looking at them, we're in trouble. Nightmare Georgie: Take a look at that Opie-looking jerk with the pigeon chest! Nightmare Pam: And I give that fat guy's ass a two But I wish I had such voluptuous breasts Nightmare Vicki: And what about old Father Time over there? Yeah, sure he can dance But I didn't pay twenty bucks to look at Red Foxx skip around in a pair of Blue underpants Women: That ain't the goods Dave: (spoken) What happens when they say that? Women: This is not the goods! Nightmare Estelle: He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald He's short He's got pimples on his ass Women: He's fat, he's old, he's skinny, he's bald He's short He's got pimples on his ass Men: Women can be lovers Women can be pals Women can be modern types Or sweet old-fashioned gals Women can be angels on earth But then again Holy goddamn fucking shit... Women can be men Women: He's fat, he's old, he's skinny He's bald, he's short He's fat, he's old, he's skinny He's bald, he's short Harold: I've got pimples All over my ass!! Look at it! Jesus! That ain't the goods Women: He's got pimples All over his ass That ain't the goods Horse: I feel extremely insecure All of a sudden Dave: What am I doin' here? Men: What am I doin' here? What the hell am I doing here All: This ain't the goods