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• Artiste: Horrible Histories
• Titre: Evil Emperors
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The famous Roman empire Was the biggest, meanest neighbourhood We four were the baddest emperors And by bad we don't mean good Woohoo! My name is Caligula A rotten Roman big-ula If you told me a fib-ula I'd hack your hands to stumps! One time I killed a priest Who'd come to sacrifice a beast You think it's sad that he's deceased We all laughed like chumps! I'm very hairy, but take note If you so much as whisper 'goat' With an iron rod you will be smoked I'm in a good mood today so I won't slit your throat! I'm bad! (He's bad!) A shameless rotten cad! Do you still have limbs since meeting me? Then I guess you should be glaaaad... Hoohoo! Your nastiness was fabulous But my name's Elagabalus And I was far, far worse Just listen to my verse... I was quite notorious For catapulting venomous snakes at Rome's enormous crowds Oh how they fled, huh huh! If you won a lottery prize I'd give you bees, dead dogs and flies My house-guests got a nice surprise- A lion in their bed! You'd think to children I'd be cuter No-o! I was their biggest executer Used the guts to read the future Says here I should get a jobs as a school tutor! I'm bad! (He's bad!) Could argue I was sad Hated through our empire From Great Britain to Baghdaaaad... Hoohoo! Afraid your claim is bogus 'Cause my name is Commodus And no-one else could be A worse emperor than me! There never was a greater Pretend gladiator If the booing got too loud Made the lions fight the crowd! Just one man was grander Julius Alexander So I killed him see 'Cause I'm the emperor, me! I'm bad! (He's bad!) My actions truly rad! You only got the emperor's job 'Cause you were chosen by your daaaad... To me you all score zero My name is Emperor Nero Evil men, you're not I'm the worstest of the lot! Wooo! My rule was full of fear-o Yet men from far and near-o Called me a fighting hero Or I would have them slain! Changed the Olympic season So the medals went to me-son Burned Christians for no reason Just a fun game I played, y'know! Poisoned my step brother Ordered men to kill my mother Tried to drown her but she fled So I had her stabbed instead! Wait! There's more! To my first wife, dear Octavia I showed truly bad behaviour Chopped her head off, gave it to My girlfriend, who I then killed too! I'm bad! So baddy! Of badness I'm the daddy! Come on I wanna see A more evil bloke than me! Yeah! We're bad! Real bad! Nothing more to add We all thought that we were awful But you are really truly maaaad... Woohoo! I'm the baddest emperor the Romans ever had.