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• Artiste: Stephan Nance
• Titre: Song for Losers
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I’m a pretty good guy— I scrub behind my ears each morning, And I floss every night. I care about the environment— Nowadays people seem to admire that— And yet, It’s so hard to find a friend… If you don’t drink, If you don’t smoke, If you don’t wanna poke Everything with a pulse, You’re a loser, A disaster, They’re perpetually telling you to grow up faster. Well, if that’s what it takes to be cool, Someone needs to change the rules. I’m impossibly kind— I’ll never ever forget your birthday, And I’ll always care what’s on your mind. I’ll go with you to the fair— And maybe if we’re lucky I can win you a bear— So where Is someone when I need someone there? If you don’t drink, If you don’t smoke, If you don’t wanna poke Everything with a pulse, You’re a loser, A disaster, They’re perpetually telling you to grow up faster. Well, if that’s what it takes to be cool, Someone needs to change the rules. I am a vegan, And I ride my bicycle whenever I can. I’ve got a feeling I could save the world— If I had someone to help me… Outside on every street I pass a multitude of people That I’d never wanna meet— As they stagger to a place where they’ll carouse all night, I just wanna cry and yell at them with all my might, I just wanna stop and tell them that it’s not okay For them to fritter every second of their life away like that! I wanna say, hey! Why can’t you see? You don’t know what a party is Till you’ve hung out with me… We can dance through the puddles in the empty streets We can warm up and cuddle in between the sheets We can make popcorn on the stove We can watch X-men Parts one, two, and/or three… If you don’t drink, If you don’t smoke, If you don’t wanna poke Everything with a pulse, You’re a loser, A disaster, They’re perpetually telling you to grow up faster. Well, if that’s what it takes to be cool, Someone needs to change the rules, Send me back to elementary school So I can play all day in my kiddy pool, Never have to worry about how buff I’m not, Never have to worry about how tough I’m not, and Maybe I won’t even notice whether I am loved or not— I dunno. I dunno, I dunno… I don’t know what to do. I’m in a quandary It’s clear I need somebody But I cannot seem to find out who… And if they’re anything like me, It’s likely that this person would be tricky to see, So if you do, Would you please refer them to me? ‘Cause I don’t drink… And I don’t smoke… But I could brighten up Your day with a joke— If you let me… Once you’ve met me, Maybe I can make it so you never want to forget me… Maybe we could change the rules.