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• Artiste: Spitting Image
• Titre: Never Met A Nice South African
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I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner But I've never met a nice South African. No he's never met a nice South African And that's not bloody surprising man 'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards Who hate black people I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German But I've never met a nice South African. No he's never met a nice South African And that's not bloody surprising man 'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers Who smell like baboons I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig But I've never met a nice South African. No he's never met a nice South African And that's not bloody surprising man 'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths With no sense of humour I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies I've had a nice pot noodle but I've never had a poodle And I've never met a nice South African. No he's never met a nice South African And that's not bloody surprising man Because we've never met one either Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris. Yes he's quite a nice South African And he's hardly ever killed anyone And he's not smelly at all. That's why they put him prison.