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• Artiste: Dan Hart
• Titre: Swift Kick in the Rear
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Like the kid who wears a pork chop to get the dog to play It's come to this, someone only listens if you pay But as your therapist, I say, if you really want to change Here is my prescription, though it may cause you some pain Swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear (ha!) You don't need a listening ear, you need a swift kick in the rear Swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear (ha!) Your diagnosis is quite clear, you need a swift kick in the rear You don't even have to speak, I've heard it all before You're impotent cause you did not get that bike when you were four But you're the perfect candidate for the oldest cure in town For curing jerks, it always works-- no no, don't sit down Swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear (ha!) I know the treatment sounds severe, but you need a swift kick in the rear Oh, swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear I really am quite sincere, you need a swift kick in the rear Therapy is not a toy, don't go if you don't need it Your ego is already huge, It's not my job to feed it The best treatments are not taught in universities Your HMO won't pay for this; but relax, this one's on me (ha!) Swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear Blow your nose, dry your tears, get a swift kick in the rear Oh, swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear (ha!) All your troubles disappear with a swift kick in the rear But therapy is just two people talking to each other One of whom only thinks that he's healthier than the other Since neither has productive skills, I guess it serves some use It gives one guy a living, the other an excuse! Swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear There's two of us, it would appear, who need a swift kick in the rear Oh, swift kick in the rear (ha!), swift kick in the rear You call this a real career? I need a swift kick in the rear I need a swift kick in the rear