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• Artiste: Momus
• Titre: "Nicky"
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Suppose one day in Bromley, Kent I live my nightmare & am sent To sing for blonde suburban women Before the wives of double-glazers I'd be Julio Inglesias Doing the great Sin-Argentinian Suppose they Barry Manilow me Screaming "Show me you're a man" With legs as mottled as salami Ladies, I'm doing the best I can This is how Casanova's bum Becomes a lesson in virility Set to a bossa nova drum Sung to tarts decked out like Christmas trees Then in my dressing room I'd see This elephant as pink as me Drinking & singing gloomily About the time they called me Yeah the time the called me, About the time they called me "Nicky" If I could be him for only an hour If I could be him before his grand finale If I could be me, if I could only be Cute, cute, cute Absolutely banal Suppose one evening in Mauritius Entertaining high officials High on whores & marijuana Begging letters from celebrities Begging "Couldn't you write songs for me?" I'd blackmail David Bowie & the Dalai Lama & I'd be an industrialist of song & I could sell with a wink The best in showbiz & in drink Korean floorshows, whiskey from the Congo Whiskey from the Congo Me, I'd have a ring on every finger & a thumb in every state & every state would be the singer's & acknowledged, I would legislate Then in my Hong Kong opium den Waiting for 1999 I'd spend the years of my decline Remembering the time they called me Yeah the time they called me, Ah, the time they called me "Nicky" If I could be him for only an hour If I could be him before his grand finale If I could be me If I could only be cute, cute, cute Absolutely venal Suppose one day in paradise I find myself to my surprise Singing for ladies flapping swans' wings Plucking on my little harp I'd be a beacon in the dark & save the souls of human beings Then Jesus Christ has hardly christened me Son of the one in the directory Between Vic & Jean-Luc Goddard & I grow my beard & walk on water & if I really came on strong & started prancing and Cliff Richard-ing I know it wouldn't be too long Before I heard the shadows whispering How Satan's come in from the cold He's now the shepherd & his fold Is shouting out requests for oldies From the time they called me Yeah the time they called me Yeah the time they called me "Nicky" If I could be him for only an hour If I could be him before his grand finale If I could be me If I could only be Cute, cute, cute, cute Absolutely He could fall asleep at night He could fall in love all right He could fall asleep at night He could fall asleep at night He could fall in love all right He could fall asleep at night He could fall asleep at night He could fall in love all right As a rock & roll star