The First Barge Paroles

Everybody thinks their order's on the first barge,
But somebody must be wrong
Or else the first barge will have to be a mile wide
And forty-five miles long.

It's got fresh eggs, milk, and cheese, and butter,
Johnny Walker's special hoe.
Baseball spikes, motor bikes,
And a brand new still, I'm told.
It's got light plants and underpants and apples from B.C.
Paper plates, and hockey skates,
And aluminum Christmas trees.

It's fresh greens, blue jeans, pork and beans, Peek Freans,
A roll of binder twine and silverware.
It's got long johns and pom-poms and prefabricated stairs
And a hundred and forty identical D.P.W. rocking chairs.

It's got base bats, hunters hats, hobnail boots, business suits,
So much booze if they wanted to they could float Queen Mary inside the zoo. They talked as if the whole damn world was comin' upon that barge.

You see the smiles upon their faces as the word spreads over town.
If that rumour's right, you know tomorrow night,
The first barge comes to town.

There's just one more thing that they're bringing, friends
That makes the public health nurse shiver:
The crews bring up all the social diseases that they picked up in Hay River.

(Doo doo doo doo do doo doo)
(Doo doo doo doo do doo doo)
(Doo doo doo doo do doo doo)
(Doo doo doo doo do doo doo)